Monday, November 26, 2012

Trying to understand why I feel a little crazy sometimes

Sup.  Rough Day.

So, I’ve had a bit of a problem lately dealing with anxiety and depression.  Some prettymajor ones: inability to work, random unexplained crying fits, no sleep for days on end, strep, the flu and other infections FAR more often than prior.  While it’s true that all of this can probably be attributed to big life changes (getting married, moving, buying a house, changing jobs), I had only felt sad or maybe a little apprehension at times of big change in my younger years, and the feeling now is completely different.  The hole that gets dug between my anxiety and depression (whichever is in charge that day) is so incredibly deep that to ‘think happy thoughts’ becomes a fool’s errand, as there is no such thing as ‘happy’ to begin with when I’m in these states.

So how did this start?  How did I go from happy-go-lucky guy to the most depressed kid on your net-block?