Monday, August 20, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
|Me, being rather un-Metal|
Sure, they can both be pretty heavy at times and make nods to subjects on the fringe of society - but is that enough to make the comparison. To put it bluntly, no. To put it obscenely no fucking way in hell.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
|How my wife and I actually looked in 2008|
In 2008, my wife Michelle and I had just celebrated our third dating anniversary. That very same night, I got a random phone call that was quite a treat. The following is my official account of that phone call; the names have been made-up to protect the derps.
Friday, August 10, 2012
The Terrible Looming Procellea
As the chatter from his post-release procedures faded into the background of his subconsciousness, Shem found stared unblinking at the sight that filled every millimeter of his field of view: Jupiter and the Great Red Eye. As he fell, irreversibly, towards the tempests' of a billion years his computer systems whirred away taking measurements, ensuring stability and monitoring Shem's own vital signs.
"Cosmonaut Aglig, everything okay? Your heart rate and blood pressure have raised steadily over the past several minutes," his radio called, bringing him out of his daze. "Everything is fine. Seeing the approach of storms that are bigger than entire planet is... unnerving to say the least," he replied while trying to distract himself from the scene playing out before his vessel. "Should you prefer, we can turn on the view dampeners, so you won't have to watch the entire - "
"No," Shem interrupted mission control without hesitation. "I want to see this. I need to see this," as he turned his eyes back outward, this time with steely determination. "The terrible looming procella of this magnificent titan will not deter me, we proceed as planned."
And so, for the next several hours, Shem Aglig watched as the gargantuan swirls of clouds and violent upheavals of colorful vapor beckoned him tauntingly. Shem Aglig was a tiny man, heading straight into the terrifying eye of the solar system.